The Pallet Town Bowl Off
by Fish
Summary: Did you know Pallet Town has a bowling alley? And Professor Oak used to be Miss Vermillion City?


Pokemon belongs to Nintendo, 4Kids Entertainment, Warner Brothers, and Satoshi Tajiri. I am not   
profiting from the production of this fic. Feedback to fish_stomp@yahoo.com. Ben Weasel says "scree!"   
  
  
"Hello, and welcome to the annual Pallet Town Bowl Off!" blared a particularly enthused voice from the   
bowling lanes' loudspeakers. He was very promptly and efficiently ignored by the spectators, who were   
mostly swilling beer and eating overpriced bags of Chee-Tos from the vending machine.  
  
The competitors listened, if only in hope of hearing their name broadcast on local television. They covered   
the fact that they were listening well, though, by also swilling beer and swearing about how they couldn't   
have food in the lanes.  
  
"Let's meet the contestants that have made it to this, the final round of the Bowl Off," continued the voice.   
"Our first team, the Rockets!" In the background, a little applause sign lit up and dinged pleasantly. The   
crowd didn't need encouragement, but erupted into a boisterous round of cheers. Because, as everyone   
knows, Pokemon wouldn't be Pokemon if it wasn't for Team Rocket. The announcer stepped from his   
little booth in the back, loudspeaker mic in hand, and approached the team.  
  
"Hello," he said, "And welcome to the Pallet Town Bowl Off! Let's introduce you four to the audience at   
home, shall we?"  
  
More than willing, our favorite bad dudes jumped in front of the camera.  
  
"Jessie!"  
  
"James!"  
  
"Team Rocket blast off at the…"  
  
"Shut up, guys," interjected their cat. "We've established that we're from team rocket. If they didn't guess   
it from our team name, then they'll figure it out later. Hi, I'm Meowth."  
  
"Well, nice to meet you guys…say, who's the fourth member of your team?" asked the announcer.  
  
"Uh… fourth member?" muttered Jessie. "We have four people?"  
  
"Yes, Bowl Off rules dictate teams of four, with no people repeated…" continued the announcer.  
  
James pushed Jessie off camera and spoke brightly, "It's okay, 'cause I found someone to be number four.   
He says his name's Earl." The camera angled to show a very relaxed drunk lounging on a chair with his   
feet up on the terminal.  
  
The announcer smiled. "Can you four tell us anything about your strategy so far?"  
  
"Well, yes, actually," sang Jessie. "We use bowling-ball shaped bombs to guarantee maximum pin   
knockage downage."  
  
The announcer grinned a manufactured smile, and continued, "Well, thanks for talking to us, Team Rocket.   
Now let's move on to the next team, the Rejects! The Reject team informed us earlier that they did not   
want to be interviewed, due to the fact that they are rejects and generally suck. The team members are:   
Mr. Mime (CU of Mr. Mime, sweeping the damn bowling lanes), Gary Oak (CU of Gary flicking off the   
camera), Tracy (CU of him doodling on the score cards), and Some Random Guy, who we'll just call   
Random (CU of a cops-style blurred face)!"  
  
"And the final team, the… uh… what was your name again?" asked the announcer, approaching the final   
four bowlers, Ash, Misty, Brock, and Professor Oak. Ash was sitting slumped in a chair, pouting. "We   
couldn't decide on a name," Ash said, "Because stupid Misty didn't like the Terminators."  
  
Misty was fuming. "The team name is supposed to be something involving bowling, ASH. The   
Terminator never WENT bowling. Stupid."  
  
"Well, the other team's names don't have anything to do with bowling," Ash complained.  
  
"Yeah," said Misty, "But look at them. Team Rocket and Team Rejects. Could you imagine them being   
called anything but that?"  
  
"No," mumbled Ash, shuffling his feet.  
  
"Well!" shouted the announcer, as brightly as ever, "I guess those are our teams! So let's get bowling!"  
  
The alley erupted into bowling white noise.   
  
The announcer kept talking to himself, oblivious to the fact that someone had cut the power to the   
announcing booth.  
  
Over at Team Rocket's lane, the game was going off without a hitch. Jessie had bowled every ball so far,   
while Earl drank, Meowth dozed, and James fiddled with the electronic scorecard.  
  
"Hey, Jessie," he called, "Look! I can change our names!" On the small television screen overhead, the   
bowler's names were being edited. Where "Jessie" had been a moment ago, "Sadist" now appeared.   
"Meowth" was changed to "That Damn Cat", "Earl" was still "Earl", and "James" was "Hottie". Jessie   
scowled.   
  
"Great, James. You just keep playing while I win this tournament," she mumbled, and bowled another of   
her trademark exploding strikes.  
  
The Rejects hadn't bothered to bowl yet. Gary was surrounded by his cheerleaders, who were telling him   
how ravishing he looked in his bowling shirt. Mr. Mime was still sweeping, Tracy was now sprawled on   
the floor doing landscapes on the backs of gum wrappers, and Random had disappeared.   
  
The Team As Of Yet Unnamed was doing rather well. Due to Ash's dumb luck, he had made strikes every   
time. Professor Oak claimed that he was a bowling champion in his younger years, along with a Pokemon   
Master and Miss Vermillion City. The rest of the group just smiled and nodded, and hoped that the good   
Professor hadn't forgotten his medication. Brock and Misty, meanwhile, had bowled a decent game.   
Proud of their accomplishments, the team just kept on bowling.  
  
Over at the Team Rocket lane, Jessie had finished bowling everyone's perfect game and was filing her   
nails. James was absorbed in Amelia Bedelia Goes To The Zoo, Meowth was licking his paws, and Earl   
was passed out.  
  
Team Reject had left the bowling alley to search for a bar, except for Tracy, who was curled in a fetal   
position in the middle of his lane and muttering to himself.  
  
At The Team Without A Name's lane, Ash was just winding up for his final ball.  
  
About this time James looked up and asked where their Big Bomb had gone, you know, the one that was   
supposed to level the building if they got in trouble?  
  
Brock was coaching Ash. "Make sure your palms aren't slippery, 'cause you can't drop the ball. Can you   
see alright? Do you need a drink? A haircut? Do you have the right sized ball?"  
  
"Don't worry, Brock," Ash laughed. "I found the perfect ball lying over by Team Rocket's lane. I don't   
know why, but I've got a feeling about this ball," he said, stroking its pearly surface.  
  
  
Team Rocket was frantic. "Where did you leave it?" Meowth screamed.   
  
"It was right here, under my chair," whined James. "I was right by it, reading Amelia Bedelia!"  
  
  
Ash stepped to the line. He brought his newfound favorite ball up to shoulder level, and shifted his weight   
ever so slightly. He ran forward, released His Ball, and watched as it spun smoothly towards the pins   
and…  
  
  
"We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin," stated the concerned-looking reporter. "We go,   
live, to our feed at the Pallet Town Bowling Alley, where earlier today the Pallet Town Bowl Off exploded   
into flames, death, and carnage…  



End file.
